The Problem With Moving Goalposts
July 14, 2026
Where Did I Go? 5 Gentle Ways to Come Back to YOU
Does this sound familiar?
Have you ever had days when everything looks fine on the outside, yet inside a little voice quietly asks, “Where did I go?”
You’re getting up, looking after everyone, turning up for work, holding it all together. And somewhere in the middle of all that doing, you’ve stopped including YOURSELF.
If that feels familiar, lovely, I want you to know something first. You’re not broken, and you’re not doing anything wrong. You just miss yourself. And that missing is actually a beautiful sign, because it means a part of you still remembers who you really are and is calling you back.
So today, I want to share five gentle ways to reconnect with yourself, and a little of my own story too.
What Self-Connection Really Means
This month inside DIVALIGN, our theme is Self Connection, and I want to share what it means to me, because it’s soooo much simpler than we make it.
Self connection is the relationship you have with yourself. It’s how you see yourself, how you speak to yourself, how much you trust yourself, and whether you honour what you need and allow yourself to want more. It’s Mind, Body and Soul, all held in one relationship: the one you have with YOU.
So many of us have been taught to look for the answer outside ourselves. A new plan, a new diet, a new version of us that we’ll finally be happy with one day. But you don’t need another way to change who you are. What you need is a different way to relate to yourself.
The Day the Whispers Came
I know this place too, lovely. For years I didn’t feel enough, and even after I realised I AM enough, life still had a way of pulling me away from myself.
In 2021, after COVID, I was going through some real challenges. I’d had COVID, and although I wasn’t ill any more, my mind still felt confused, like a foggy brain. One day I sat down at my table, opened a Google Doc and said, “Oh God, what am I supposed to do?”
And in that moment… the words started to flow. Poems, one after another. They were channelled whispers, and they kept coming, thick and fast. Today I have over 150 of them.
When I read them back, I realised they were messages from the divine, to me. They spoke about my worth and reminded me who I am. They told me I was going to be fine and that I am divinely guided. Those whispers helped me find my connection with myself again. I call them my Divine Diva Whispers.
5 Gentle Ways to Reconnect with Yourself
Self-connection isn’t one big thing you have to get right. It lives in small, everyday moments. Here are five places I invite you to look, lovely.
How you see yourself. When did you last look at yourself with kindness, rather than searching for what’s wrong? Next time you catch your reflection, pause and notice one thing you genuinely appreciate about yourself. It might feel strange at first, and that’s okay.
How you speak to yourself. Listen to the voice in your head for a day. Would you ever speak to a friend that way? When you hear a harsh word, gently ask yourself, “What would I say to someone I love right now?” and then say that to yourself instead.
How much you trust yourself. If you find yourself second-guessing every decision, start small. Make one little choice today simply because it feels right to you, without asking anyone else first, and notice how it feels to back yourself.
Honouring what you need. So many of us put everyone else first and leave ourselves until last, if there’s anything left at all. Once a day, ask yourself, “What do I need?” and give yourself one small thing, even if it’s ten quiet minutes or an early night. Choosing yourself is not selfish.
Allowing yourself to want more. Somewhere along the way, so many of us stopped dreaming. What did you used to love? What lights you up? Give yourself permission to want more for your life, without needing to explain or justify it to anyone.
Listening to Your Own Whispers
Here’s what I’ve learnt since that day. What we’re searching for is already within us. Self-connection is simply making the space to hear it.
So here’s my invitation to you this week. Once a day, find a quiet moment, even just a few minutes with your cup of tea. Place your hand on your heart, take a slow breath in, and let it go. Then ask yourself, as honestly as you can:
- How am I really feeling right now?
- What do I need today?
- What is my heart whispering to me?
There are no right answers here, and nothing you have to get right. Simply listen to whatever comes, without judging it. You might like to write it down, so you can look back and see the whispers you’ve been hearing.
Come Home to Yourself
Self-connection is a relationship, and like every relationship, it deepens with time, patience and gentleness. So be soooo kind to yourself as you begin.
If you’d love some support along the way, my journal, Embrace Your Inner Oneness: Divine Diva Whispers, holds 25 of my channelled poems with reflective prompts to help you listen inward. You’ll find it on Amazon HERE
And if you’d love to explore this with me and other women, come and join us in DIVALIGN. DIVALIGN is a soul-led community of women supporting each other to feel like themselves again. DIVALIGN INFO
It’s time to come home to yourself, lovely. ❤️
With love,
Jo x
Soul-Led Mentor, Author & Founder of DIVALIGN
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