The Problem With “I´ll Feel Better When”.
May 31, 2026
The Problem with Moving Goalposts
Have you ever noticed that “enough” never quite seems to arrive?
We tell ourselves we’ll be happy when we’ve lost the weight. We imagine a future version of ourselves, lighter, more confident, more at ease, and believe that when we become her, life will finally begin. We picture ourselves smiling in photographs, wearing the clothes we’ve kept hidden at the back of the wardrobe, moving through the world without constantly thinking about our bodies. It feels so close we can almost touch it.
Then we get there. For a brief moment, we celebrate. We feel proud of ourselves. But almost imperceptibly, something shifts.
The goal moves.
Just another five kilos.
Just a little more toned.
Just one more dress size.
What once felt impossible suddenly feels ordinary. What once felt like success no longer feels like enough. The finish line sneakily steps forward, inviting us to keep chasing it.
I’ve come to believe that this is one of the most exhausting patterns women live with. Not because we’re ambitious, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to grow, but because we’ve unknowingly attached our peace to a destination that keeps moving.
But this doesn’t only happen with our bodies; it happens in our careers, where we believe the next promotion will finally make us feel successful. It happens in our relationships, where we tell ourselves we’ll relax once we’ve found the right partner or become the perfect parent. It happens with money, confidence, achievement and almost every area of our lives. The details change, but the pattern remains remarkably familiar.
We make promises to ourselves.
I’ll relax when…
I’ll feel confident when…
I’ll finally like myself when…
The sentence changes.
The waiting stays the same.
Over the years, I’ve realised that the real problem isn’t having goals. I love growth. I love dreaming. But there is a profound difference between growing because you already believe you’re enough and growing because you’re hoping one day you’ll finally become enough.
From the outside, those two women may look exactly the same. They both set goals, do exercise and take care of themselves. Yet internally, they are living completely different experiences. One is growing from self-respect. The other is striving from self-rejection.
That difference changes everything.
Inside DIVALIGN this month, we’re exploring what I call “The Moving Goalposts.” Not because I want women to stop setting goals, but because I want us to become curious about the meaning we’ve attached to reaching them.
Perhaps the goalposts were never meant to define our worth, or they were simply there to guide our growth. There will always be another milestone. Another dream. Another version of ourselves we could “become”. Growth is part of being human, and I hope we never stop growing. But I also hope we stop postponing our peace until we arrive somewhere else.
Because life isn’t waiting at the next milestone. It’s happening here, and perhaps that’s what remembering really is. Not giving up on our dreams, not settling or becoming complacent. But refusing to believe that our worth lives somewhere in the future.
The woman you’re becoming doesn’t need to earn the right to feel enough. She never did.
Maybe the invitation isn’t to stop moving forward; perhaps it’s simply to stop moving the goalposts.
In our Sisterhood, we’re gently exploring how to recognise the moving goalposts in our own lives, and, more importantly, how to stop attaching our worth to where they stand. Because growth should expand your life. It should never postpone it.
This way of relating to the body is the foundation of DIVALIGN No pressure. Just an invitation, if and when you’re ready.
I would love to see you on Facebook, Instagram & Subscribe on YouTube.
COVER IMAGE – CANVA – Licensed Pro Version Design
DISCLAIMER
The information in this blog is for educational purposes only and does not replace any advice given by a medical practitioner or nutritional therapist.
You must consult your doctor before embarking on any coaching, program or blog information detailed on this website, especially if you are pregnant, nursing, taking medication, or have a medical condition. Your doctor knows what is right for you. The content does not serve as a cure or prevention for any illness, disease or medical problem.
When you buy through links on this website, I will earn a commission or an affiliate commission. See AffiliateDisclaimer
