10 Tips To Help You To Love Yourself More

 

You can only love someone else if you love yourself first!

Absolutely! This is such a true statement, and if you can start putting yourself first, you will begin to see significant positive changes in your life. Check out these 10 tips to help you to love yourself more so that you can reap the benefits of a happy, fulfilling life and become aligned with who you are.

 

What is self-love?

Self-love means having a high regard for who you are and for having compassion for yourself. It’s about supporting and appreciating yourself through all your actions, development and spiritual growth. It means setting boundaries in your life to protect your inner peace that is driven by your inner-being. Self-love helps you to treat yourself with respect and kindness and to nurture your wellbeing at all times. You are responsible for your happiness. When you love yourself, you live with intention and hold yourself accountable for your life and success. You are the owner of your castle, and it means staying true to who you are and taking responsibility in all situations. When you love yourself, you don’t blame others; you look within and see where you can grow through the contrast.

 

Being compassionate to others is great but what about you?

Being compassionate with others is excellent, and if everyone in the world could be like this all the time, the world would be a very different place. However, we need to start being compassionate with ourselves.

You see, being self-compassionate means that we accept that we are imperfect human beings because that’s precisely what we are. It’s acknowledging that we mess up and that it’s ok to mess up because we learn (hopefully) from what we have done to make a better choice next time.

We are harsh on ourselves because we are our own worst inner critics most of the time. We negatively judge ourselves and are constantly nit-picking the way we look, what we do, and continuously compare with others. It’s time to stop attacking ourselves and step into the beautiful human being we were created to be. Being compassionate will help you discover the vulnerable side of your nature, which is the natural energy source of your authentic being. Own it. It’s beautiful.

 

‘Adopting self-love and acceptance will set you free’

 

 

1. Believe in Yourself 

My motto has always been to ‘never give up and always believe in myself, and believe me, there have been times in my life that I have wanted to throw in the towel and walk away. But in hindsight, I am glad I didn’t; I am happy I persevered through the challenges, no matter how hard they were, because my belief in myself was always strong.

Everything starts with belief, whether it’s weight loss, getting a new job, moving to another country, or simply taking on a new challenge. Belief is having trust, faith and confidence in yourself, something or someone else. It understands that you are the driver of your success and knows how powerful this is.

You can build your life as big as you believe! There is no ceiling on life. And remember what you think about what you bring about. You will not realise any of your dreams or goals without a firm belief in yourself.

 

2. Ignore The Opinions Of Others

I’ve gone through stages in my life worrying about what others think of me, and I learned pretty quickly not to let it worry me. Don’t worry about what others think because others will judge you anyway. So let them judge you when you are feeling glorious about yourself, too. Who cares. I love Les Brown’s saying about the opinions of others: “Someone’s opinion of you doesn’t have to become your reality.” How powerful is that? So the next time someone gives you the rundown of who they think you are, keep this quote in mind and smile. The only opinion that matters to me is my own and that of God.

 

3. Get Rid Of Negative Self-Talk

Have you ever told yourself that you are not good enough, or you can’t do something, or you look too fat, too thin, too small, too short, or basically that you are incapable? Well, we all do it. We have become conditioned to that unbelievable negative chatter and babble that starts when we open our eyes in the morning. Do you know what I mean? Negative self-talk limits our belief in ourselves and crushes our self-confidence, chaining us and preventing us from reaching our full potential. So we have to cap it asap.

When you start your negative back-chat, try to stop yourself and change your dialogue. Instead of saying, for example, I need to lose weight, tell yourself that you have a fantastic body and your body is a tremendous fat-burning machine. Turn it around to the positive side.

The power of the mind is unbelievable, and your mind believes everything you tell it. For example, if you cannot do something and tell yourself that you can not achieve it, your mind will manifest it, and that’s precisely what will happen. You won’t achieve if you keep telling yourself you won’t. Your words are so powerful that your mind will take them and manifest what you are telling it. So, choose your words wisely, be positive and change your thinking.

 

4. Practice Gratitude

Gratitude helps us to feel more positive emotions. It helps us improve our health and build relationships, especially the number one relationship: with ourselves. Being conscious of it and acknowledging the good in your life will pave the way for you to receive more abundance. The best way to practice gratitude is to set aside 5-10 mins in your day to write in a gratitude journal. Think of all the things that you are grateful for. It could be your family, friends, health, work, dog, and anything that gives you joy where you feel a good sense of satisfaction and happiness.

Each day, try to think of 3 things that you are grateful for and FEEL them. If you write them down daily, your focus will shift to all the good things in your life rather than what’s not working. Being in a state of gratitude will bring you closer to your long-term goals and help you deal with adversity.

 

5. Eat Well

Don’t get me wrong; your value does not lie in the way your body looks. Not at all, but loving your body and nourishing it well is a part of loving yourself. Therefore, providing your body with optimum Nutrition is a must. Your body can only function effectively when you are feeding it what it needs daily. That includes making sure you hydrate with pure water every day and eat fruits, vegetables, and berries. If time is an issue, and you know that you will most likely grab an unhealthy snack on the road, there are many other options to give your body what it needs daily. 

Reward your body with good, well-balanced nutrients, and it will reward you back.

 

6. Stop Comparing Yourself With Others

Did you know that comparison is the thief of all joy? The only person that you should be comparing yourself with is you. Come on; you’re unique. There is only one of you. There is not another person on this planet that has the same fingerprint as you.

Social media is a killer for comparing ourselves to others. Everywhere we look, someone is showing off their life, body, and this and that. SO WHAT? This is fine, but try not to compare it with yourself or your life. Learn to compete with yourself and not with others as this is a vital point for self-love – start self-pairing yourself. Many people suffer from anxiety and resentment because they compare themselves to others. You are unique, and you are YOU, so own it.

 

7. Gentle “I AM” Affirmations – Not the fake-it-til-you-make-it kind.

Let me guess what you’re thinking.

“Jo… affirmations? Really? I’ve got stress, real life, responsibilities, and a nervous system that’s already on edge. Don’t tell me to stand in front of the mirror saying I’m fabulous when I feel knackered.”

Fair. I hear you.

This isn’t about forcing positivity or pretending everything is fine when it’s not. That doesn’t make the body feel safe; it makes it feel gaslit.

What does help is how we speak to ourselves when things are hard. Because your body is always listening.

When your inner dialogue is harsh, panicked, or self-blaming, your nervous system tightens. And a tightened system doesn’t respond well to change, clarity, or healing.

So instead of “positive affirmations,” think of grounding “I am” statements — ones that meet you where you are, not where you think you should be.

For example:

Instead of:
“What am I doing wrong? It must be me.”

Try:
“I am doing the best I can with what I have right now.”

That single shift doesn’t deny reality — it creates a little space inside it.

Here’s another one many women recognise:

Feeling stuck in a job, a situation, or a phase of life you can’t change overnight. The inner dialogue goes something like:
“I can’t cope. I’m trapped. This is too much.”

A gentler reframe might be:
“I am okay in this moment, and I am moving towards something different.”

Notice the difference?
No pretending. No pressure. Just steadiness.

“I am” statements work not because they’re magical, but because they bring you back into the present moment, and the present is where the nervous system can settle.

Try this tomorrow morning:
Before you pick up your phone or start mentally organising everyone else’s life, notice your first few thoughts. Count how many of them are critical, rushed, or self-directed pressure.

Then offer yourself one simple truth:
“I am allowed to be human today.”

That’s it.

No fixing.
No forcing.
Just a kinder conversation with yourself.

And from there, things soften.

8. Let Go Of Toxic People

Part of our development and growth is letting go of toxic people and situations. Toxic individuals drain your energy dry, which has detrimental effects on your emotional, physical and mental health. They are like poison running through your veins. To love yourself means letting go of these people so that they cannot destroy your inner peace or your self-esteem. Get rid!!

 

9. Trust Your Intuition and Gut Feeling

I am a very intuitive person, and don’t get me wrong, I have sometimes ignored it, but I learnt from it the hard way. That GUT FEELING that we have is there for a reason, and it is personal to all of us. A gut feeling is often accompanied by a physical emotion, unlike intuition. If you ignore your intuition to give in to others’ opinions, it may take you down a slippery slope because you are going against your core of who you are. It’s kind of like trying to swim upstream. Sometimes our intuition knows what’s best for us before our conscious minds inform us.

Step up, raise your vibration, and listen to yourself, not others. Lifting your vibration will keep you in a positive state and in tune with your intuition. Take time to let go of the clutter and listen to your heart and soul. Trust me; once you can manage to calm your mind and body, you will start to hear it, and it will give you clarity. Your intuition is there to help, guide and protect you, and it teaches you so much about yourself and how to love yourself more.

 

10. Quit Trying To Impress Others

I believe in being the most authentic, undiluted version of myself. What you see is what you get, and I try to surround myself with like-minded others. I do not need to impress anyone. Either you like me, or you don’t, and if you don’t, that’s fine too ,because we can’t be everybody’s darling. When you are connected to your source at the core, to your inner being, you have no reason to impress others because the only person you need to impress is yourself.

That’s it. Just accept that not everyone is going to like you, and that’s ok. Think about it; I guess you have people in your circle that you don’t like, right? These people are not bad people or anything like that; they are just not vibrational matches for you. We have to accept the way it is.

Start practising self-love by being the person that you treat well and care about. It all starts and finishes with YOU.

 

Takeaway

Learning how to love yourself more will help you work on the best relationship in the world, which is the one with yourself. You will have downtimes, times when you feel lost, but it’s important to remember how far you’ve come. You’re unique, and you deserve the best that life has to offer.

 

 

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DISCLAIMER

The information in this blog is for educational purposes only and does not replace any advice given by a medical practitioner or nutritional therapist.

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