You are not your body! You are in your body!

You are NOT your body…….You are IN your body.

I was doing everything right, or so I though……..
Disciplined. Lean. Controlled, and I still felt wrong.

I remember standing in front of the mirror thinking:

If I could just be a little smaller…
a little tighter…
a little more controlled…

I would finally feel safe here.

The moment everything shifted wasn’t when my body changed.

It was when a close friend said to me:

“Jo, you are not your body. You are IN your body.”

That sentence didn’t change my discipline.
It didn’t change my routine or my body. It changed where I located myself, and that changed everything.

Most Women Don’t Have a Body Problem

They have a relationship problem. Not with others but with themselves.

We’ve been taught to manage ourselves.

To monitor.
To evaluate.
To improve.
To optimise.

But we were never taught how to locate ourselves.

There’s a difference between managing your body and relating to it.

Self-Management sounds like:

• I shouldn’t have eaten that.
• I need to be better tomorrow.
• If I could just stick to the plan, I’d finally be okay.
• I’ll feel confident when I lose the weight.

It’s control.
It’s a constant evaluation.
It’s pressure dressed up as discipline.

And usually… it has a tone.
Sharp.
Urgent.
Critical.

That’s what I call the Dragon, and after years of listening to the  Dragon, the body doesn’t feel like home. It feels like a project. Can you relate?

Self-Location Is Different

Self-location asks:

• Where am I right now?
• Am I speaking to myself from shame or from safety?
• What does my body actually need in this moment?

That question doesn’t come from the Dragon. It comes from something steadier.

Self-location is not about giving up responsibility. It’s about changing the voice that holds it.

Because you are not your body. You are the one relating to it.

The Three Voices Inside You

From my own experience and inside every woman I’ve worked with, there are three inner voices, and I describe these in metaphors:

The Dragon.
The Genie.
The DIVA.

The Dragon criticises. Pushes. Demands more.

The Genie soothes, she´s the truth of who we are. She is calm, steady and true.

And the DIVA leads. She is the fullest expression of the Genie. She’s grounded, calm. She doesn’t panic. She doesn’t shame. She chooses.

These aren’t personalities you perform. They’re inner dynamics you’ve been living with for years.

Whichever voice you’ve been listening to  – that’s who has been leading your choices.

And if you’ve been listening to the Dragon for years, your body has been living in defence.

You Cannot Shame a Body Into Alignment

The nervous system does not respond to pressure; it responds to safety. When the body feels unsafe, it tightens. When it feels safe, it softens.

This is why control often backfires. Why restriction leads to rebellion. Why criticism creates cycles instead of change. The body isn’t resisting you. It’s protecting you.

You cannot bully a body into peace. The body follows where the soul leads. If the soul is speaking from fear, the body will contract. If the soul is speaking from safety, the body can soften. And softness is not weakness. It is regulation.

A Small Practice

Before you try to fix anything today, pause. Put one hand on your stomach. Ask yourself:

Who is relating to my body right now? Is it the Dragon? The Genie? Or the DIVA?

Just notice without judgment. Whatever you notice is real. Your body has been communicating with you for years. Most women just weren’t taught how to listen. But now you are.

Not fixing. Remembering.

You are not your body.
You are IN your body.

And that changes everything.

This perspective is the foundation of our foundational work inside DIVALIGN  where safety comes first, and everything else follows in its own time. If this resonates, there´s a sisterhood space waiting to welcome you. 

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